OF COURSE GAYS SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO MARRY OR RAISE CHILDREN!

Well duh, we shouldn't allow gay people to marry or adopt or have kids because OBVIOUSLY gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only ever raise straight children.

The above was my Facebook status update for today.

This was one very funny response:

No, that's not the issue. The issue is that if a gay couple has a kid who turns out to be attracted to the opposite sex, it will be scandalous and cause for all kinds of recriminations and fights over Christmas. "This is all your fault, Leo! Taking him to hockey games!" "Oh, it's MY fault, is it? Well if you had installed the tasteful tracklighting in the den like I wanted, maybe he wouldn't have turned out all WRONG." "Okay, deep breath. Everybody calm down. Look, here's this pamphlet. It's a camp in Vermont where they'll fag him right out."

Then my response:

Or, there is this religion in Salt Lake that will attach electrodes to his genitals and burn it right out of him.

Disclaimer: that so-called electroshock aversion 'therapy' program only really ran from the 60's to 80's. Now they just don't allow them any form of contact with the same sex and they must remain 100% celibate, or marry the opposite sex to 'right and good sex' the gay out of them. Oh, they also spend $20M in supporting anti-human rights legislation in California and collect Billions in so-called tithing moneys world-wide while publicly teaching that gays who 'act' on being gay (seeking love, connection and commitment) are in reality committing sins next to murder in seriousness and will not go to heaven.

But I digress.

The really important thing to remember is that right-wing religions love homosexuals, just not homosexuality.

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The sad thing of course is that the LDS Mormon church will, just as it has on every other human rights issue they have strenuously objected to and fought "tooth tithing and nail", have their position reversed when faced by outside worldy pressures (as they always have).

- Women's rights and the 70's ERA movement...oops, we meant to support women's rights, yeah, that's the ticket. We love women. Really. Just like Joseph and his 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19 year old so-called wives.

- Polygamy... polygamy will NEVER be taken from God's true church for it is a Celestial law and God will defend us, says God's prophets in the 1850's to 1890's. Then, they say...oh wait, you're going to take our $$ and property away, and you mean it this time?...This just in...God says to STOP polygamy, no not like when 11 of the 12 Apostles took additional polygamous wives after the 1890 so-called Manifesto...we mean like, it's 1904 and they are SERIOUSLY going to shut us down as a Church and so, uhm, God says, please stop NOW.

- Priesthood...the "Black's" will NEVER get the priesthood (till every white male person does) and if the Black's ever DO get the Priesthood, God will have forsaken the LDS Church and they will have lost their priesthood keys and authority says Brigham. Then comes 1978 and the US Government is starting to prepare to go after religious organizations which promote racism and inequality. This just in, Brigham was WRONG says Kimball et all, God loves all creeds and colours and the time is now at hand where all blacks can have the Priesthood. Please ignore the fact that a Prophet speaking for God previously got it 'wrong', must have just been his 'opinion'.

- Homosexuality...this 180 degree about face story has yet to be written (and covered up like they do about the ERA, Polygamy and Priesthood 180 degree turn arounds)...but it will be written in the next decade or so, that's my prophecy. Of course, if they aren't sufficiently spiritual or humble, or if anyone coughs when I'm doing my incantations while I'm digging for money, well, it may not come to pass (always good to have an escape clause when making prophecy...those on the MADB will certainly understand).